


Murder Husbands

by starryeyedhomicide



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: (I’m so sorry I hated using that horrible word), Enjoy!, M/M, Murder Husbands, and F slur used, and tw for homophobia, fuck this is bad I wrote it like a year ago, tedgens but they’re Bad, there is some blood mentioned, this is v shit and v short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-11 10:37:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19107961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryeyedhomicide/pseuds/starryeyedhomicide
Summary: They considered themselves like modern day Robin Hoods - but with a bit more blood involved. The press loved them, providing an exhilarating game of cat and mouse where they’d make sure they were never caught. The media were constantly coming up with names for them - someone called them ‘fucked-up saviours’ at one point. He liked that.Tw for blood and homophobia, also sorry im bad at titles





	Murder Husbands

Such a wasteful society. So much potential down the drain, every minute. He didn’t see how people could live and breathe and not see the destruction in everything. The world decaying, rotting, and the people too, constant horror and terror and murder and all the other bad things ending in ‘r’. What was the word for those people again? Ah yes. Normal. What stupid lives they must lead. Henry laughed and got onto business. As if he’d ever been considered normal. Execution seemed to have that effect.

He and Ted found it easy to... eradicate those kind of people. Only the bad ones, though. Those who fought for power, grasped and tore at companies’ shares and did nothing that they promised with their money. All the money that Ted and Henry... received, went to orphanages, homeless shelters and charities - those who needed it. Of course, they never took it for themselves - Hidgens was a successful biologist and Ted had inheritance money. They considered themselves like modern day Robin Hoods - but with a bit more blood involved. The press loved them, providing an exhilarating game of cat and mouse where they’d make sure they were never caught. The media were constantly coming up with names for them - someone called them ‘fucked-up saviours’ at one point. He liked that.

Their current target was a target no longer, having been in their basement for an hour. He was tied up, of course, the bloody walls surrounding him from all sides. Henry didn’t like the mess, because once a scientist, always a scientist, but he really couldn’t be asked. They didn’t like to make them suffer, as a quick death is the kindest, but Hidgens and his husband had been.. distracted. Now satisfied, he kissed Ted softly and unlocked the door to the basement.

“So, any last words, you piece of shit?” Ted sneered, baseball bat in his hand.  
The man cried, choking on his own tears. Pathetic. He wasn’t surprised though, oh no. He’d had this coming.  
“P-please, don’t kill me, I swear I’ll make a difference, I’ll do what I said, I’ll-“  
Henry interrupted, “Ah, but you already failed to do that. Multiple times, actually. How many was it, Teddy?”  
“Ten I think. Maybe eleven? Jesus, this guy is a fuckin’ nightmare.”  
“Soon to be ‘was’, dear! Now...” he turned to their captive, who spat blood on the floor in disgust.

“Fine, fucking kill me, I don’t fucking care! I’ve got seven choppers, three tanks and the fucking FBI on the way. You don’t stand a chance. You faggots are gonna die, and then you’ll be in hell where you belong!”  
Henry gasped. Ted froze.  
“... What the fuck did you just say?” The man smirked, blood trailing down his chin. “You heard me. You’re going to pay for this. Bye-bye, queers!-” Before he could get out his sentence Ted swung the bat at his head and with a sickening thunk the man fell lifeless and slumped in the chair, red seeping out of his cracked skull.

Hidgens held back a sob. He cried not for the death of the man in front of him, but for the painful memories that his words brought back. Ted turned round and rushed to hold him, smoothing his hair and stroking his back.  
“Hey, hey, it’s okay, shhh. He was a fuckin prick, I always knew he was a homophobic bastard but I-“  
“Ted. It’s.. I’m fine. I’m fine. Those days are gone. It’s just been so long since I’ve heard that word, and I just-“  
“I know, I know. It’s alright, you’re safe, we killed them all years ago, remember?” Hidgens smiled up at his husband, wiping his tears and nodding. He leaned in to kiss him but was reminded of the situation at hand.  
“We really need to clean up.”  
“But I’m hungry! And it’s not like he’s going anywhere, he’s dead!” Henry rolled his eyes.  
“After we clean up, we can get pizza.”  
“... Okay.”

-end-

**Author's Note:**

> fUCK I’m sorry u had to read that piece of.. whatever it is  
> this is my first fic can u tell  
> I am also very sorry for using the F slur - it’s a horrible word, and I know that queer has been reclaimed (I use it, actually, I’m queer folks) but the character said it in a derogatory sense in this bc it can still be used like that  
> ok a summary: sorry  
> thanks for reading!! ❤️


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